Ningbo Textiles

My SAT teacher graded this, gave me a 10 on a scale of 0 to 12, and told me it sounds like a sermon. Does it really?? And how can I fix this?
Should we be influenced by others’ perceptions of the beauty of people or things?
What is beauty? When confronted with this question, different people have different answers. Because there is no such thing as absolute beauty, I believe that we do not need to be influenced by other peoples’ standards of beauty. While we are already influenced by others’ perceptions of beauty, we should not feel pressured to conform. The examples of trends and plastic surgery support my answer.
Firstly, the example of trends in fashion supports my case that beauty should not be standardized. Fashion trends change every season, and whether it is gold bracelets or lambskin gloves, we can see many people wearing them whenever they are in vogue. I do not believe this is wrong, but simply think that people should not feel pressured to buy whatever is popular at the moment. But because fashion trends are praised by various fashion magazines and television shows, many feel as if they will become popular if they follow these trends. This contributes to the loss of uniqueness and promotes conformity, and many regret buying “trendy” clothes after the trend itself has passed. If people followed fashion trends less and developed their own styles, it would be more respectable, not to mention more satisfactory for the people themselves. Therefore, the example of fashion trends supports my argument that people shouldn’t be influenced by others’ standards of beauty.
Secondly, the example of plastic surgery supports my thesis that perception of beauty in people should not be influenced by others. According to a CNN report, people in China are having plastic surgery to become more attractive candidates while applying for jobs. However, I noticed that as more people have “face jobs,” as they call it, more surgical mistakes happen and more surgery-related deaths occur. These people are literally changing their faces for jobs that pay well, even with the risk of disease or death. With public opinion becoming used to the idea of plastic surgery, people are at a high risk of losing not only their personalities but also their faces to the preferences of their bosses. But how can people detach themselves from public opinion to create their own unique selves? By being independent thinkers, and to differentiate between what is normal and what is assimilatory.
In conclusion, we should not be forced to conform to others’ standards of beauty. The examples of trends in fashion and plastic surgery support my case. The perception of beauty, both personal and material, is what makes our world a better place to live. It would be a shame to let other people’s standards take control of our own perceptions of beauty, for it would make a largely assimilated and colorless society and make us rather tiresome, if affable, people.